EMPTY SHELL

Since you’ve been gone things haven’t been the same. I don’t want to do anything. I can’t eat or sleep. I don’t want to go on. It isn’t fair. Why did you have to leave? You know that I needed you here; still do. I told you that over and over and you still left. Are you that selfish? You only thought of yourself. I am in a daze like some kind of zombie.

It’s your fault. You told me you loved me, would never hurt or leave me. Was that all a lie? Yes, because you did all of those things. Everything reminds me of you. My life is gone. I lived for you—gave my all to you. Now what am I supposed to do? I don’t want to go on. When you left you took me with you. Why did you do that? Why? Why?

Do I really want to know the answer? Am I afraid of what I’ll find out? No. I already know the answer to my question. I am jealous. GOD chose you instead of me. You have no more worries. You’re with HIM while I’m down here still dealing with everyday life. You have it easy now.

When you left, I had your going away service. I didn’t call it a funeral because I wanted you to come back. It was not for you; it was for me. I needed something to cling onto. I felt as long as I could see you; you’d still be here with me. I can’t explain it. When I couldn’t see you anymore that’s when it hit me. I have never felt so empty.

I am the one who is selfish. I wanted to keep you here with me. What if I was the one HE chose? Then you would probably be saying the same things. I don’t want to feel this way. I guess it is human nature. You wouldn’t understand that now. You are an angel helping your FATHER take care of HIS business. I wonder what your job will be. It must be very important.

Who am I to question GOD? He loaned you to me. Now that HE needs you I don’t want to give you back to him. You were never mine to give. That’s why HE doesn’t ask our permission. He knows that the answer would be a selfish one every time.
With time I know that I will be just fine. GOD will help me to understand. I just want you to know that while down here you were loved—you will always be loved. Never will you be forgotten.

*copywrited*